Author Topic: Dear Dr. Stupid  (Read 3975 times)

Tbonestone

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Dear Dr. Stupid
« on: February 15, 2010, 01:03:08 PM »
Dear Dr. Stupid,

Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling? If you do; would you even seek recommendations on a trusted douche bag from your mother?

Thanks,
Your loyal follower

It's not the size of the tool that counts, it's the size of the box you put it in.

Dr. Stupid

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Re: Dear Dr. Stupid
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2010, 05:21:51 PM »
Dear Daring Doucher,

 Sorry about the delayed response, but the mere thought of my mother’s douche bag had me cowering in the corner in the fetal position for over 9 days. Apparently you’ve never been whipped with that hose attached to the “hot water bottle” when a piece of your Hot Wheels track wasn’t nearby.



 

 Let’s start with a little background. The word “douche” comes from the French language which is only fitting because the French are some of the biggest douche bags on the planet.

I’m not exactly sure if you’re interested in vaginal or rectal irrigation, or if you just want to use mom’s wookie washer as a bota bag.



If your answer is bota bag you may be interested in Dr. Stupid’s line of douche bag Snuggies stylish as well as functional only $19.95 each.
 


 If you’re trying to maintain a normal vaginal environment, please bear in mind the vagina is similar to a self-cleaning oven, which leads many of my colleagues to believe that douching is dangerous, as it interferes with both the vagina's normal self-cleaning capabilities and with the natural bacterial culture of the va-j-j. Frequent douching with water may result in an imbalance of the pH of the vagruder, and thus may put you at risk for possible vaginal infections, especially yeast infections. So unless you’re planning on brewing beer in your pussy, you may wish to back off.

If you insist on douching to assure daintiness, might I recommend a newer disposable douche most of which are more environmentally friendly than the highly volatile and unstable douches of the 1940’s and 1950’s. The half life of some of these older douches is yet unknown as well as the long term effect on our planet. The only option for the non-disposable douches (other than in the fryers at GB’s Fish & Chips) are the douche fills located in remote regions of Nevada somewhere near Area 51.



The risk of transporting this hazardous waste does not outweigh your selfish desire to be as fresh as a daisy. We can ill afford another douche spill on our precious mother earth. Previous douche spills have resulted in countless deaths and have cost the taxpayers millions.



So if you’re going to douche, please don’t douche and drive, always select a designated doucher and remember friends don’t let friends douche drunk.

Dr. Stupid

Tbonestone

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Re: Dear Dr. Stupid
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2010, 10:29:40 AM »
Dear Dr. Stupid,

Your infinite wisdom and wit is always impressive! I will probably go the self cleaning va-jay-jay route, however if need be i will always douche with a friend. haha

Your loyal follower.
It's not the size of the tool that counts, it's the size of the box you put it in.